Human Relationships

‘Can relationships be taken for granted? Yes, they can be and indeed are being taken for granted in many cases. Should relationships be taken for granted? ‘No, that is poison for any relationship’, said Dale, my wise friend, earlier this morning during Sakha’s monthly wash. (Sakha is my white wolf – a Siberian Husky.)

Professionally, Dale is a dog washer, but with his wide and deep knowledge about philosophy, human behaviours, world history and political science, my monthly conversations with him are a pure delight, educational and thought-provoking.

Dale says every relationship needs to be nurtured ‘every day’ in the same manner as one waters a plant. I asked him, ‘But if A loves B, can’t A take B for granted?’ Dale replied instantaneously, ‘No, these are two different things. You may love a flower, but if don’t water that flower, it will die. Love alone is no guarantee that the flower will survive. Relationships must be nurtured, regardless of love, for them to survive.’ He added, ‘In a loving relationship, if A takes B for granted and does not nurture it on a daily basis, B is bound to think that A may be looking elsewhere. Pure human psychology, mate! ’

Now an important question arises: ‘In which case do people not dare to take their relationship for granted?’ A simple answer could be: ‘In such cases as they fear they may potentially lose the other person if they allow the other person feel that he/she is being taken for granted.’ It is simply a matter of human psychology. Pride (or self-respect) invariably gets the better of most of us. No person likes to be taken for ride or for granted in any relationship, whether it is a parental relationship or a relationship between siblings. The risks increase significantly in friendships and romantic / matrimonial relationships.

In a nutshell, if you don’t want to lose the other person, don’t play around. Make the other person feel wanted, loved and needed every single day, just as the earth spins and presents us sunrise every day, or the way you brush your teeth every day. Show your commitment to the relationship. Work proactively towards maintaining it in a good health for ensuring its longevity. Never ever even think of taking your relationship for granted, as wise Dale says, if you can’t afford to see it dying. Well, it is another thing, if you don’t care. In that case, it is no brainer!

Well this blog applies to genuine human relationships and not casual kicks and thrills, which, of course, are not worth the effort. They are tears and nothing but the tears!

Human relationships are as complex as the humans. Most human relationships fail because one or both sides take their relationship for granted. By the way, ‘human relationship’ is the theme of one of my forthcoming books, Pride and Imprudence. ‘       … Bill K Koul

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